Hyuuga Hijinx
by HarvestMoonRacoon
Summary: That tape would be just FANTASTIC for black mail... No pairings.My mom thought it was hilarious...


Neji's feet barely touched the branch as he sprung to the next tree in hurried grace.  
Sweat flung off him as he practically flew from branch to branch, sweaty palms death-gripping the low-hanging branches with all the panic he felt.  
_Where did she go?  
How did she get away so fast?_  
Byakugan eyes activated, the veins in his face constricting and throbbing, Neji flew forward at a nearly inhuman speed, adrenaline coursing through his body.  
_I have to find her.  
If I don't-  
_He refused to think of not finding her. His reputation, he'd be ruined forever.  
_HOW on earth did she see? WHY DID I DO THAT?  
_Cursing his own stupidity, the Hyuuga paused in his mad flight back towards Kohana.  
"A-ha."  
Locked onto her chakra signature, Neji smirked. His feet leaving a smoking trail of chakra, Neji sprung lightly through the air, swinging on a branch with one hand.  
Feet first, he dove down-  
And landed directly on top of the girl.

She screeched as the two rolled head-over-heels down the dirt path from the training grounds. Neji's hands grabbed madly at the dirt-streaked face, wrapping his hands through her brown hair to prevent her escape.

He sat directly on her stomach, not caring if anyone saw him restraining his team mate.  
If any did see, she's probably blurt out his little secret, and the whole five Shinobi nations would know. He couldn't allow that, he thought, gripping the brown loose hair tighter unconsciously from sheer mental panic.

"Ouch! Neji, let me go!" TenTen said, a hint of annoyance in her voice as she squirmed.

"How much did you hear?" Neji hissed, making his voice sound as cold as death to hide the panic he was swimming in.

"More then enough." TenTen smirked, but grimacing when the Hyuuga bent inches from her face, sweat droplets plinking on her face.

"HOW MUCH DID YOU HEAR?" he asked again, his voice lower and serious.

TenTen laughed, causing Neji to scowl a deeper scowl then he had ever scowled (Try saying that five times fast)

"And what, pray tell, is so freakin' funny!" Neji muttered, trying to resist the urge to punch his teammate repeatedly in the teeth.

"Ha- Well, I never knew you, of all people, Neji-" TenTen began, trying hard to speak through another wave of mirth that caused her to shake with laughter, "-possessed such a perverted mind"

Neji bit his lower lip. "It's not perverted.. It was written in, like, the forties"

TenTen smiled deviously. "I'm sure everyone in Kohana would enjoy hearing about this"

"NO! NO." Neji practically screeched, smashing TenTen's head against the ground twice for emphasis. He reached around and pulled out a kunai from his pouch, quickly positioning it under TenTen's throat. TenTen stopped laughing.  
"You tell no one. Or you'll die." he said, serious as the grave.

"Oh, come now. You wouldn't kill me over something so silly." TenTen mock-laughed.

"Try me." he whispered, dragging the kunai lightly across her lower throat, just enough to piece a little flesh, and draw a droplet of blood.

The forest was still, save for the beating of wings above. TenTen stared into her comrade's unmoving pale eyes. He was dead serious.  
"OK. I won't tell." TenTen resigned, sighing.

Neji got up, and pulled her to her feet. "Thank you, TenTen." he said officially, placing the kunai back in his weapons pouch, smiling slightly.

"Besides, I got it on tape"

Neji whirled around, slightly faster then the speed of sound.

Lee was hanging upside down from a tree branch, video camera in hand, smiling smugly at the small digital screen. TenTen smirked evily.

Neji's mouth gaped open and closed as he watched, as if in a slow motion section of a horror movie, as Lee's hand drifted closer and closer, to the "REPLAY" button.  
There was a crackle of static from the video camera screen, as it focused on the recording being replayed on it.

TenTen bit her lips to keep from bursting out laughing.

Lee smiled at the recording of Neji. On the video, Neji was beating the training dummy with Jyuuken, blue chakra sizzling on his hands.

The real Neji was frozen in place, his lower jaw hanging open somewhere past his knees.

The video screen focused, as the recording of Neji sat down on the ground, and took a drink out of his canteen. Lee smirked, and his eyes met TenTen's, who smiled evily back.

The recording sat still for a few seconds, tapping his feet in the dirt, before muttering something low.

"What's that?" TenTen said, cupping her hand to her ear. "I can't hear what he's saying"

Neji's mind blacked out as he watched in horror Lee turn up the volume on the camera.

And then, to the horror and disgusting delight, they were serenaded under the leaves of Kohana's forests, by Neji singing…

_"She was afraid to come out of the locker… She was afraid that somebody could see..."_

"NOOOOO!" The Real Neji screamed, raking his hands through his long hair and pulling out dark strands as TenTen shook with laughter.

_"It was an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, yellow polka dot bi"_

Lee's loud laughter and Neji's screams drowned out the rest of the song. TenTen was rolling on the ground laughing, dust filling her eyes as Neji gripped his stomach, screaming.

Lee had rested the camera on the tree branch as he curled up to a fetal position, his legs still wrapped around the branch, coughing and sputtering and shaking from mirth.

_".. that she wore for the first time, today"_

In an instant, Lee was leaping hurriedly back to Kohana, dodging Neji's shruiken as the Hyuuga glared murder at the spandex-clad nin. Neji ran up the tree and took after him.  
Now, if he didn't catch Lee, the entire village would know!

Screaming curses over the replaying of the tape, Neji contemplated how he was going to murder his teammates and get that song out of his head.

TenTen was still rolling on the ground from laughter.

Both her teammates were already long gone on a life-or-death game of chase, which, TenTen thought, would end with Lee back in the hospital, and her video camera utterly obliterated into a million pieces. Ah well, it was all worth it.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and sat up. The setting sun streaked across her face, drying the tears of laughter from her flushed cheeks.

She stood up, and slowly began walking back home, laughing quietly every few steps.

Who knew Neji had such a good singing voice?

She hoped Lee would make it back to Kohana before Neji caught him and probably murdered him and dismembered her video camera.  
She'd just _love_ to have a copy of that tape to play at the Hyuuga family reunion….


End file.
